Frequently Asked Questions

No. Your private dealings are your own.

It unfortunately often happens that a partner cannot fulfil that lingering desire of submissiveness. For a partner it is often impossible to actually dominate, hurt or use you even if you explicitly ask for it.

Dominance cannot really be faked. I offer a discreet way to explore and experience your submissive side without consequences for your existing relationship.

I meet only with women, and with couples (both FF and MF couples).

The intake takes place during the initial contacts and starts with a confidential discussion of desires, boundaries, experiences, and practical details.

We will also explore the presence of any traumas that might be relevant to know about in the context of a BDSM session.

During our first contact we look at whether there is a good connection, whether our expectations match and whether there is mutual respect.

I only meet a limited number of people each year. The first contact helps us both see whether it is a good fit.

Yes. You must be at least 18 years old.

If we meet in a country other than the Netherlands, we also take the local laws into account.

That is no problem at all.

Exploration begins with curiosity, and the first sessions can be designed as gentle a introduction.

It all starts with acknowledging that you have submissive feelings and that you have a desire to explore that side of you.

Yes, definitely.

Any request that is unsafe for you or me, that is incompatible with my ethics, or outside my expertise or my personal limits will be refused.

During our preparations we establish the boundaries for our sessions. Respecting them is essential to creating trust.

We also discuss possible triggers you have that might be caused be emotional, sexual, or physical trauma.

You always have a safeword or safesign that ends or pauses play, without question.

This is the foundation of safe play and trust.

A fee for special requests is paid in advance, your contribution is given afterwards. Both can be in cash or through a secure, anonymous method.

Options are discussed privately.

At your home or at a neutral location, such as a hotel or an SM venue. For some, home actually feels safest, because you can't be recognised anywhere in public.

If we choose a neutral location, we select it carefully to protect your privacy. If you like, I'll take care of the booking.

Secure and encrypted communication channels are provided, sessions are discreet, and no identifying information is ever shared.

When needed, an NDA is signed in advance.

Yes.

At the end of each session there is a possibility of grounding, comfort, and reflection. The form varies per sessions and per sub.

If you like, yes.

Many submissives find a follow-up conversation or session valuable to further explore their submissive side.

That really depends on the initial preparations, your experience level, your desires and the areas of BDSM that your interests lie in.

First sessions (with the obvious exception of rape fantasies), start with a moment to re-iterate safety rules and confirm safety words and safety signs. Afterwards the session will flow into actual submissiveness. This could entail rules and dominance, restraints, or sensual play.

Yes. All sessions are unique. Sessions are always adapted to your experience, wishes and limits.

In case of follow-up sessions, we can build on top of previous sessions to further explore your limits and different aspects of BDSM.

Usually a session lasts two to four hours. A longer session is possible in consultation.

If we meet at a neutral location, such as a hotel room or SM venue, those costs are yours. At your home there are no location costs. If I need to travel far for a session, we agree on travel costs in advance. You always know beforehand where you stand.

Afterwards you give a voluntary contribution: what the session was worth to you and what you can spare. As an indication that is €100. Less is fine, nothing too.

If we meet at a neutral location, those costs are yours. For special requests we agree on a separate fee in advance. Read more on the compensation page.

Then you give what fits, or nothing. That is exactly how it is meant: those who can spare more make it possible for me to also welcome people who can't. You don't have to explain anything.

A session can also take place at your home, so there are no location costs. If that is not an option, just mention it in your request. I'll help you think of an affordable place.